Over the last couple of months I heard a couple of funny stories about people being “worried” about us and then phoning friends to “warn” us.These people do not know me or if they do, never came to visit me in my house.. so I am thankful that they do think of me and pray for me.( even if it means they think we lost the plot completely by coming here) Prayer is always good, so I thank you,but I did ask myself why? Why would someone ,who I do not know, talk about me? Not that it has an effect on me,but is there not better things to do with your time than to “worry” about someone who can’t even say thank you because they actually do not know that you spend your time worrying about them,they actually do not know you.Then I asked Jesus why? He did not answer, but knowing His heart He just loves those people to pieces..
But this made me think about Him. If you type in Google the words Bethel and Bill Johnson, you will find the most interesting things.You will find the words devil worship and cult, mixed in between Glory and beauty of Jesus.I guess it is only your heart that will determine which one you will watch and read. Here are my thoughts:
I grew up Christian,lost the plot for ten months and then Jesus came and saved me with so much love and joy. My journey is still to this day a very interesting one. My marriage is a proof of His faithfulness.He wrote my story and my husband is someone that I love soo much that I sometimes cry if I think that something can maybe happen to him. Our marriage, like any other marriage, has it ups and downs, but because of God ,we end our day every night in bed holding hands,even if we did just had a huge fight.He was and is faithful and carries us. So yesterday, I was standing in worship and all of a sudden I could feel His love flooding over me. People who have experienced this love, knows that this is something so powerful and so pure that you do not want to move. Then He whispered these words into my heart. ” I am a Person, My Spirit is a Person.”
For the next 10 minutes I was going through my history with Him. I laughed and cried. Nobody in this world will ever know how much I appreciate this God. He came to comfort me in times when loneliness was my theme song.He was actively involved in writing the story of the love of my life. He knows about every prayer that I prayed for my family and friends and He shares with me the delight when what I prayed for ,came to pass.Nobody understands the depth of the relationship I have with this God. To me, He is a Person. Yes, the miracles that happens in His presence are awesome, but the God behind those miracles is even more indescribable.He captured my heart, not by His Godliness, but by His Person.. His Godliness is an extra factor that just makes Him the best friend I can ever have.
You see, in our marriage between Stoffel and I , we made a decision. We will never ever limit the other one. So, if Stoffel wakes up one day and decides to wear only black and speak very slow, then I give him space to be. I accept every detail about his life and who he is.He does the same with me and this makes me feel so safe in his presence. I know that I can just be. In the minutes of worship yesterday my heart broke. I realized that sometimes we do not allow the Holy Spirit to be Who He is. We want to stop Him and control Him, because to be honest, when He comes, He is so powerful that anything can happen. Your body will shake and uncontrollable laughter will happen. Honestly this is weird and I understand that.. until I became that crazy person on the floor.
I was watching a clip the other day about the golden cloud of glory that manifested at Bethel the other night. I joked with Stoffel and said Jesus was so enjoying us worshipping Him that He fell a sleep and His foot slipped and that is what we saw! Obviously, this is not true. God loves us and He wants to dwell amongst us as He promised it in His word. Because He is God, His dwelling will be way different than what we are used to. In worship I came to a conclusion,I can either be like the Israelites, who, when they saw Moses’s face after he came down the mountain where he encountered God, got scared and asked Moses to cover his face.. or I can be like Moses, who was called a friend of God, who saw God’s glory, with whom God spoke face to face.
I see the cloud and I run in..
So yes, maybe your worries are legit, but let me give you assurance, I belong to a beautiful God and my heart is secure in His love for me.I am contend and want to pursue more of Him. He became my source..so I am doing great! Thanks for caring though.. 😉