There is one song on repeat on my i-tunes.. Benjamin Dunn’s ” You are everywhere” . I love the beat,I love the words, but most of all I love the truth about this song. It releases so much joy in my heart.
The other day I turned to Stoffel and asked him what he thinks of my thinking. He was a little confused, how must he know what I think? Soon he realized that he is married to number one verbal processor, I even say what I think in my sleep! We love to do this, go back in our lives and celebrate how God changed us! We always stand in awe! My tip to you is celebrate the miracle you are every day.. you will never have a bad day! Anyway, back to my thinking. For the next 5 minutes my brutally, honest and truthful husband ( I love these characteristics about him, you can ask him a question and know that he will give a honest answer) dissected my thinking. Then he was quiet and finally said: ” Wow, you started to think fearless!”
I remember that day when God challenged my fearful thinking. I used to wake up in the middle of the night because of a fright.Fear would swallow me and I will then for hours beg God to protect me. One night He spoke to me: ” Bring that fear to me. ” My normal religious mind tried to figure out why Papa will ask a question like this when in the last couple of minutes it was all I did.Then He spoke again ” Linda, literally bring that fear to Me.” So, this is what I did. I looked around and tried to figure what fear would look like. I then imagine what it will look like and dragged it on it’s chain towards Papa on His throne. When I started to do this, I did not realize that Fear was in bondage itself. ( chain). To me, it was this very very big and heavy monster, and may I add, a scary one too! I closed my eyes while I pretend to drag fear to Papa. Because He is everywhere, this was not a long journey.
Finally, I stood, eyes still closed, in front of the throne. ” Linda, look at it.” I turned my face to this scary monster and opened my eyes and saw nothing.. Then I looked down and there it was, so small and so afraid! I then burst out laughing! I could not believe that this is what was keeping me up all those nights! Then Papa spoke again: ” Linda, fear always masquerades itself bigger than what it truthfully is. I want you to learn to push through that mask and just ignore it. You know what it is truthfully so no need to be afraid of it anymore!”
This was my little journey with Papa. I am very child like and loves the way that Papa works with me. This little imagination excerise changed my thinking forever. I realized that instead of backing down out of fear around a fearful situation i now walk right through it. Apparently I was like this when I was a little girl. My dad told Stoffel the other day how I was just not afraid. He told a couple of stories of how my parents were amazed of my inability to back down. I lost that fearlessness for awhile but now with a new revelation of how Good God is and that He is everywhere, I am back with my fearless thinking! How liberating it is to think fearless!
I remember in the 1995 rugby world cup final how the whole country was talking about the fearful Jonah Lomu and how our team must stand strong agains him. I don’t know who gave that fearsome tackle in the game but this was the story afterwards by one of our Springbok players: ” I could see the fear in his ( Jonah ) eyes and then I knew, it is over.”
One can only give what one carry, fear can only give fear because it is afraid… Don’t back down for it anymore, don’t allow it to rule your live. You are way more powerful than that!