Marriage and the Inner me

This Morning I woke up with a thousand thoughts running through my mind. They were all about marriage. Bill Johnson once said that God wants us to worship Him. He loves our hearts turned to Him. God is not a egocentric God that needs all worship to be about Him, but He knows that we as humans become what we Worship. And since He already made us One with Him, what greater gift can there be than to become like Him. This happens through worship. I love to worship.. I used to not like it, but I have tasted this good God and now I can’t get enough of Him. 🙂

Worship and marriage thoughts.. How do the link?

Stoffel and I once did a pre-marital counseling with a young couple who was about to get married. The young man came to us in the second session and told us that he finally knows how to have a happy marriage. He said that he watched this dvd about being selfless in the marriage. Once you become selfless and put your partner first, you will have a happy marriage. Very true I had to agree, just one thing. If you are trying to be selfless and put your partner first,in the process of trying to be selfless aren’t you putting yourself first? You see I tried that and soon I started to compare myself to Stoffel and got very frustrated. Giving with an ulterior motive never works.

In any battle we have, being inner focus is never the solution. Trust me, I am the self made inner focus queen! You have a problem, whether it is sin or whatever, and you so become consumed with this thing and trying to conquer it out of your own strength that you can’t seem to enjoy your life. You do pray, because we have been taught to pray about it, but still no relief. Does it mean God did not hear our prayers? Nope, He is a good Daddy, He hears our prayers. It just means that your problem has become bigger than your God. And because you so focus on the BIG problem you don’t get to see the little victories and celebrate them so according to you, your problem stays big and the evil cycle starts again.

It is way more fun to celebrate than to fight. That is what is worship is all about to me, to celebrate this big God. To celebrate someone brings tears to my eyes. I love it when someone close to me has a birthday, because then I can celebrate them!

This young man was maybe right. Not focusing on self is maybe the solution.. But trying not to focus on one self can be the problem. Flip the coin and start to celebrate. Worship helps you to celebrate other people, because as I said in the beginning, you start to think like Jesus if you start to worship Him.. because what your worship is what you become. Jesus loves to celebrate and value people!!

How does this all fit into marriage? I once stood in my kitchen very frustrated with my man. I was in the middle of this selfless route. I prayed to God and asked Him to please help me because I seem not to be able to cope. I then heard God say to me : ” You enjoy Stoffel and I will focus on this marriage.” I started to do that. I started to celebrate and enjoy my man and soon our marriage was smooth sailing!

We have a marriage course coming up in April and this is what we do at our marriage course. The course is set up for you and your spouse to come back into connection or go even deeper into a connection on all levels of your marriage.

What about us who have kids? Will we be able to learn from you since you don’t have kids? Yes, because the course is set up to focus on the connection that you have with your spouse. It is designed to lift your eyes from your busy schedules and see each other again, to celebrate each other again.

I can answer all the questions I receive regarding this, but at the end, the best is for you to decide if you want to come. All I can say is that I am very happily married! 🙂

For more info on our course please go to


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