Draw near..

I was recently on a well known celebrity’s twitter page. He is a self-confessed atheist. In one of his tweets he took on Christians and needless to say he got a reaction. I found the reactions amusing and at the end just stopped following him, not because of what he said or him,but more because of the sadness of the conversation due to both Christians and atheists.

This whole thing made me think. How do we describe faith? How do we convince all kinds of people to believe what we do? Whether in God or no God? How did I come about to believe in Jesus?Well, my story started like so many others. My parents are Christians and I grew up in a Christian home. My parents unconditional love showed me the right way and at the end I chose to believe in God myself.

This whole twitter ordeal made me think of my life. The whole am I enough a Christian for others to be willing to choose Him due to how they see Him in me? Am I a good enough only bible for non believers to really choose God? This kind of thinking can create anxiety in my life. I use to think like that and it put a lot of strain on my very young life.

I thought about my calling and purpose and really pondered whether I am walking in it. A very noble question, but to me as a person it really causes a level of anxiety. To live a perfect life is a high demand on a human soul. I know my strength and know that like so many others my soul needs to rest.

Personally this has been one of the toughest years I have ever went through. I had one similar year like this before, then I did not know God, but looking back now, I can see He knew me. Tonight I was thinking of my personal vulnerable self. I realized that I have become very depended on Him. I got to know Him as a Person and in my darkest moment this past year, I grabbed onto Him. I am in many ways to tired to fight according to many people’s understanding. I am to raw to decipher what His will is in this whole year.

heck, I might even be to lost to trust Him. And that is when it hit me. I just like to be with Him. Just be.

Thousands of moments in my life flashed through my thoughts. My wedding day, my 21st, family Christmas joys, school, netball and I realized these are His moments with me. And His biggest will for my life is to enjoy Life, to be in companionship with Him. That is why He created us. To fellowship with Him. To share life with Him. Not to perform for Him. Not to be the perfect Christian that excels in so many kingdom activities.

My dear mom in law once had a very real encounter with Jesus. He came and gave her a hug and said to her : ” you and I have a love relationship, not a work relationship. ”

Tonight I realized, that through everything, I have a love relationship with Him. His love set my heart into a rhythm of peace. I am His little girl. His eyes are set on me. And together we are walking this life. It is personal, it is raw and most probably my life testimony of Him in my life won’t give you the answer you are looking for. But you can’t take it away from me. Nothing can separate me from the love of God. The Love that I chose to accept and rest in. His Grace is enough.

Good night.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s