After my last post, I did an interview with a journalist about my story regarding TB. We met on Sunday and I felt so sorry for this poor journalist, who had to listen to all my revelations and new information about TB. One of the questions the journalist ask was what has changed in my life since I got sick? I am a verbal processor, one of the reasons why I started this blog, so when she asked me this question, I had a lot to say…
It comes as no surprise that my view on relationships changed. A lot. But digging a little deeper into the whys and the hows I came to realize, the one thing that this illness really revealed more to me, was my understanding of my value of my life.
I have had many interesting conversations since I posted my TB post. One of the reasons why I wanted to keep it quiet was out of fear of the reactions I might get, but also one of the reasons why I wanted to speak about TB was because of these same reactions. One of the things I heard this past week, is that I got TB because of my father’s sins. Shocking? Yes. Was I upset when I heard it? NO.
You see,I know my God, I know my Father and I know my natural father. If there is one thing that I know for sure, is that my parents would give anything to protect their children against exactly what I am going through. It is the heart of a parent to protect their children. Even my lovely mother in law phoned me and said that she wishes that she could rather walk this walk than me. This reaction of pure love reminds me of conversation Jesus had with His followers in Luke. He speaks about what father amongst us would give his son a serpent if he asks for a fish? No healthy dad would ever do that.. why ? Love. Then Jesus goes on and says, If you then, who are evil, knows how to give good gifts, how much more does the Father in Heaven will give the Holy Spirit for those who ask. (Luke 11: 10-13) This piece of scripture shows the value of the Holy Spirit, but it also shows the value of a child to a father.
As I sat there and listened to all the reasons why TB was bestowed on me, I started to giggle inside of me. There is absolutely no way that this can be true. See, God who created us, also decided to add value to us. He decided that He wanted us to live, and while we were still enemies of God, He send His one and only Son to die for our sins and the sins of the world. He came to redeem and give us the gift of eternal Life. I accepted this gift from Jesus and started to learn more about what this gift means.. the more I dig, the more I discover.. it boils down to love. Love of a Father in heaven. What is the primary roles of a Father of Love? To protect and provide.
My sickness was not given to me by God because of the sins my father. My understanding of my value teaches me differently. I am as precious as the gift of Eternal life. If you have something so valuable, you would do anything to protect it. My wedding ring for example, I never take it of. I figured that the best place to keep it safe is where I can feel and see it everyday. I protect that which is valuable to me. My pups are another example. I am not a mother yet, but my pups are extremely valuable to me, so much so and to Stoffel’s embarrassment, that when a car passes us during our walk in the mountains with our pups,I go into a frantic dance to remind the driver that we have loose hooligans on the move who do not know the strength of his very slow moving vehicle. 😉
So why did I get TB? I will ask my hubby to write a post about this. He has such a good explanation. What I can tell you, is that everyday he prays for my healing and everyday we believe to receive it. I have made peace with the mystery aspect of God.
I end with what I started with, the question of the journalist of what changed since I got sick. Relationships and my revelation if how valuable not only I am, but the whole human race. Yes, there are very evil people in this world, but that don’t change the reasons why God decided to send His Son.
In the beginning of this year my mom decided that this would be the year that she is going to ignore negative people in her world. I think this is a good decision. We have enough in this world that can steal our joy, if people that you are not close with, comes and upsets you, move away. As simple as that. Linda no!! That is so unchristian like.. I am not saying that you ignore close relationships that have a negative impact on your life. If you can work on it, then do.. but remember that relationships are a two way street. If reconciliation is not happening from the other party, then you are wasting your value on someone that has no respect for your value. You are responsible to steward your value that you have received. You are that powerful. Other people can’t do it for you, it is you who have to take a stand for yourself. But to those people that lives on the periphery of our lives and they come and upset you, I decided this morning to just ignore them. My motto is this, if you do not know my birthday and you do not know how many sugars I take in my coffee, then you most probably do not have enough insight into my world to give a negative opinion.
So instead of getting upset with all the negativity and gossip stories about you. Lift your chin and realize that you are incredibly loved and valuable. Do not tolerate a message that says otherwise and move on. Try your best to honor those who was given to you and live this life. You only have one.