My last post as a TB Patient and eating humble pie..

Yep, one more sleep! 🙂 Then it is all over.. When I took my pills this morning, I wondered what it will feel like not to wake up every morning and drink those pills..  Six months are actually short in a lifetime,but I feel like this six months has changed me dramatically.

I am in a very good space. I love life, love love and love me. I said to Stoffel the other day I don’t know where the change in my hope levels came. I mean when I started with treatment I knew I would be fine.. But then I entered the post-traumatic stress phase.. I freaked out about every little thing. Stoffel said to me that it amazed him how strong I was in God till the day treatment started.. only a month later did the whole thing hit me between the eyes.

I guess I can say this thing has humbled me. If you know me, you would know I am not on this mission in life to live humble. I believe that if my pride gets in the way of living my life and stealing my joy, then Daddy God will tap my shoulder and say uhm.. hallo, I havent created you to live like this. Never will I preach against pride and say we must live humble, cause seriously, how do you live humble? What does it look like? Humble people don’t know they are humble..

Anyway, but this illness humbled me. So let us just say that out of ten with ten being the worst pride person on this earth, I have gone from a ten to a 9.95 with this disease. {You see how silly the “humble me” game is?!}

What I mean by humbled me is this: I contracted the poor man’s disease, yet I am not poor. I don’t drive an Audi, my dream car, and my house is not the prettiest most spacious home in this hood, but compared to the people I shared a space with every Monday during my road of recovery, I am not poor.

I remember one day how another like me came into the clinic. She had to stand in a line to receive the necessary information she needed. By then I knew the drill, I knew that a clinic visit might take some time and that everyone working there is under a lot of pressure. I know that the people sitting here most probably had to take a day of leave to come to the clinic, where most of them get paid according to the days they work.. So one day to sit in the clinic costs them greatly. Anyway, in comes the queen.. waited ten minutes, grumbled out loud at me and said how pathetic this is and demanding special treatment. By now I was one of them, so I walked up to mrs Queen and told her the best time to come is during lunch time. With a grateful smile she turned and said that she will be back then. As I turned the clinic sisters, who I all know by name by now, burst out laughing. The worst time to go to the clinic is during lunch time. 😉

By humbled I mean this, this illness taught me to see people. We live in this very fast pace life and honestly I have noticed that the higher our bank balances were, the faster we started living. We walk past people who would love to share a joke, we look through the car guard who actually calls you: ” Sir or Madam” but we make time for the rude boss who doesn’t  even know your name, much less will he ever call you sir or madam.

Recognition is not succes based, it is love based. A mom recognises her daughter in the school play because of love not because of the success of the school play.

God’s heart is towards His people. Even in our ministries we lose focus of this truth. We run around praying for people just to hear the testimony. We chase salvations just to tell people how many we have brought into the Kingdom. That is why I love the gospel, because the truth is that not one of us in reality is in this rat race we have created for ourselves. We all, in truth, sit on a magnificent Daddy’s lap, completely secure because of what He did.We rule and reign with Him. Our “job” is to bring heaven to earth.. and heaven’s heart is people. A miracle won’t exist without the person.

On Friday night my hub hub and I went to watch a movie under the stars. Before the actual movie started a little clip played about a community project in the area that focuses on TB and HIV patients. Before my walk with TB I would have used this moment to go to the bathroom. We are bombarded by sickness and struggling people every day and we have grown numb against the cry for help. This time around I understood. I watched mesmerised at this woman’s testimony and how her life changed because of the right medication and treatment. She is poor, they showed her shack in the clip. She is someone that I will never even recognise on the streets, but after this I know more.

She is a person.

Life is what we came to live here on earth, let us not ever lose focus of that great gift.

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