Notes from a clueless mom: motherhood so far from birth to baby cramps. 

Well, I slept 5 hours straight last night. Do not know how it happened, felt a little guilty that I might have slept through my baby’s cry for me , and I don’t know if I did. But when I saw him this morning, all was good again. 

So, with 5 hours of sleep I decided to use David’s morning nap to write about my experience so far as a mom!

I sleep when he sleeps, I thank God daily that I am not a control freak, it makes it easy for me to look past all that needs to be done and just go to bed. My mom and hubby really helps me so much. Friends bring dinner, so sleep when babs sleep is my solution! I don’t know how I will ever be able to thank everyone!

The Birth: 

So I had a two false labour scares and a day after my 38 week check up, where it was discovered that I am slowly dilating , contractions got real. Not painful, just there. My doctor decided to admit me to hospital. Due to unknown reasons, she was concerned for my baby’s health with me dilating so slowly and decided to intervene and break my water. There is a couple of medical reasons for intervention in labour and my light contractions were one of them. 

I went ftom 2 cm to fully dilated in 4 hours. But honestly this is what I was told! I can’t remember to much of the birth. I know I didn’t have an epidural, but the rest is foggy!

What I do remember is my little boy on my tummy milliseconds after he was born. I remember my husband, an excellent birth coach, in tears at first sight of our boy. And I remember,through every contraction,how I stared in Jesus eyes of fire. 

So if you would ask me: my labour experience was not as bad as I expected. And it was so worth it to have this little boy! My doctor, Janė La Grange, is a hero in my eyes. Both Stoffel and I are so thankful for her and her guidance through the pregnancy. 

Life with a newborn

I am only 16 days in and loving it. Yes there is little sleep, yes, my baby struggles with cramps and one specific day, I remember I cried 80 % of the time and David stared at me in wonder. Motherhood is a learning curve like nothing before and the one thing I learned is to take it easy.

My slogan of my blog is : ” nes jy is. ” meaning just the way you are. The revelation that God adores me for who I am hit home 4 months before I married the man who adores me for who I am. I learned the last seven years that I am perfect and that the strive to become perfect is futile if you already reached the state of being perfect. Just as my little boy is perfect in my eyes, just as my husband is perfect in my eyes, so am I perceived by God. 
Through my journey with TB I learned to trust, but this momhood journey taught me to love. Not only to love my baby and hubby and new family, but to love my body, my lack of understanding, my attempt to be a mom, to live this journey and everything part of it. 

Weeks prior to David being born, God spoke to me about time. Today’s world really don’t have a lot respect for time. We want things on time, in control and fast results, not realizing that time itself is the gift. Time with family, time with God, time with the project at work. At the end time is part of the process and the results are always the process worth.

I want to end with bringing these two revelations together. Nes jy is and time at the end of the day brings peace. Peace with God, yourself and your world. At the end the labour story doesn’t matter, it is how I savor it that does. And it only does matter to me, and not to the whole world. You don’t need to prove yourself, you are already a success. So relax and enjoy the journey. 

Ok, nap time for me..
Have a blessed week!

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